I just finished putting up four dozen chocolate chip cookies that I baked, at 1:16am. I started baking before that, but it takes a while to bake, of course. I actually baked really good cookies.
I’ve never baked cookies by myself, so it was fun. I also was able to bake cookies before Summer was officially over, so I was able to do something kind of fun before Summer ended.
By the way, I wasn’t able to watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower, because it isn’t playing in ANY theatres near me. I even checked for theatres 50 miles away, but it wasn’t even playing there. Not that I would travel 50 miles for a movie, well it would really depend I guess. But The Perks of Being a Wallflower is my favourite book, so I wanted to see the movie, to see if it’s good at all, or if it’s a horrible adaption.
Wow, haha. I haven’t posted in a while.
I guess I’ll try and type up all the important stuff.
Basically, I had a panic attack last week, a pretty bad one at that.
Also, I’ve been feeling really emotionally tired lately. For some unknown reason.
I haven’t really done anything these past few weeks… just reading. But not really reading even. Just getting up, taking my iron supplements (I have an iron deficiency), working out at the gym, come home, lay out in the sun for a while, sometimes read a few pages of a book (Usually I read 100 pages at a time), stare out the window, sometimes go to the store. That pretty much sums up my past few weeks.
Also, I’m such an idiot. I found out why I was having so many nose bleeds. I have an iron deficiency, and I was taking too much aspirin. I was pretty freaked out when I had already had 6 nose bleeds in just three days, so I looked it up and found out what the problem was. I haven’t had a nose bleed in two weeks. Yay! haha. Oh, and I should have already been taking iron supplements because I bruise way too easily.
Another thing, early this morning I had a terrible nightmare. I don’t really remember what it was, but I remember it was a monster, or something. I was trying to run from it; I was really terrified. I also had a dream where I had a horrible panic attack due to social anxiety.
So, I’ve been having a pretty boring summer, so far. Hopefully, I can do something to change that.
To look around, it seems like everyone just forgot that anything had happened at all yesterday. It’s sad, in my opinion.
I know it’s just July 4th, but it’s still kind of sad to see how bland today is, you know?
Sometimes I wish they could just simmer down from celebrations, so it’s not a sudden end. But I don’t know, I guess that’s just me.
Just a warning, this will probably be a really long post.
So my fourth of July was pretty awesome. It’s still technically the same day (11:06PM) so yeah…
I started the day off like any other. Okay, scratch that. I woke up, worked out, came home, left to go see The Amazing Spider-Man. Which, by the way, was amazing. Yum, Andrew Garfield. Came home, waited a few hours, then went on my adventure to shoot fireworks.
It was about 8:50PM-9:00PM when we left (My family and I), and we went to the fireworks stand that my Father bought the fireworks at. Turns out, they don’t left you set off fireworks there, even when they said they did.
While we were driving to another place, I saw the moon, and it was a blood moon. I was going to wait till we got there to take a nice photo, but it was too late, it had already turned kind of yellow by then. It’s awesome that the first time I ever see a blood moon in person is on Fourth of July.
So we went to another where there was a lot of fireworks. We got out of the car. I was very nervous, because it didn’t look like anyone normal was shooting fireworks, it was only the big fireworks, that I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that only professionals can shoot off. But then I thought to myself, “Fuck it. Just fuck it. They don’t know me. They’re just strangers, they won’t recognize me if I embarrass myself somehow. Fuck it. Fuck it all. Strangers, just strangers.” and it kind of gave me the courage to keep walking, and the knots quickly went away. But then I got really nervous, and I was screaming at myself in my mind, Shut the fuck up, you can do this! You can do it! It’s just fucking strangers! Keep fucking walking, you puss.y Stop it. Stop looking awkward, damn it. You’re looking awkward and out of place. Stop iiittttt” Before you ask, yes, Idocall myself a pussy and taunt myself to actually interact with humans.
We walked over to the place where a lot of people were walking to shoot the fireworks, and we could really hear the fireworks now. They were really beautiful. We walk up to this kid about 17 and then he asks, “Do you have bracelets?” my Mother says “Oh ….No, we don’t. No one told us we had to have any.” “Yeah, you have to have bracelets.” So we go over to the fireworks building, and my Mother goes in. I followed behind, but she told me to wait outside, and he told my Brother “Oh, you can’t go in here, sir.” (My Brother just told me he had thought “Oh, screw you.” when the guy told him that. Which I thought was pretty funny)
Also, right before she went in, I was walking alongside the building and heard a kid telling an exaggerated tale of him and fireworks, to his buddies. It reminded me of childhood, because how kids will exaggerate, but not really mean to, sometimes.
Me, my Brother, and Father, all wait outside. It was kind of awkward for me, as I kept seeing this teenage boy looking at me, we kept making awkward eye contact from a distance. My Father finally goes inside to look for my Mother, so I turn towards Sam, (My Brother) with my camera pointed at him, and my arm extended, and asked, “So how is your Fourth of July going, Sam?” he said “Pretty shitty, because I told you so.” What he meant was, a little while earlier he told us it was going to be awkward, and they probably won’t allow us in, and/or we won’t be able to shoot fireworks.
My Mother comes out, while my Father is inside. Sam turns to her, chuckles, and says, “Daddy just went in….” she hands us these weird American flag stripes and says, “Here are the bracelets, don’t lose them.” and she hands me a receipt. Our Father comes out, Sam says, “Mama just went inside looking for you.” our Father, by that point, is pretty put out. He grabs the fireworks (Which we had laid on the ground earlier) and starts walking towards where the are fireworks going off. Sam and I just start laughing at the whole thing, our Mother finds us and says, “Come on, I found him.” so we follow her. She has us put on the bracelets, and we walk over to the area.
I could hear some people saying “Awh, man. They’re not allowing anyone to shoot fireworks anymore.” “Oh, come on. Really now?” etc, etc. We walk up, there is a cop and he says, “We’re not letting anyone shoot anymore fireworks. Too many people. You’ll have to go somewhere else.”
We decide to “fuck it” and go home. We drive home, and then went outside our garage and lit up sparkles, bees, or whatever they’re called. And some other firework type thing. I took photos and videos. I could hear our neighbour, Joe. (Who is a firefighter, and a dick) start getting mad, I think. I’m pretty sure I heard him say “God damn it, stop it!” maybe because his dog was going crazy. But he never tries to calm his dog down when it’s about 3:00AM and the dog is going crazy.Dick.
Also, let me tell you a little thing about Joe. He will play his fucking drums at “odd” hours, and have parties with all of his huge fucking bright lights on. Loud music, annoying drunk karaoke. I have contemplated writing him an anonymous letter to kindly shut the fuck up a little bit. Although, I don’t know if I would really say “Shut the fuck up, please. Thank you.” probably something like “Please stop having drunk karaoke nights, and please turn down your music. Please don’t play your drums at 1-5 in the morning. And please, please don’t have really bright lights on and have parties in the odd hours of the morning.” Yeah…
As this was happening, I heard some guy talking to his wife on the phone, or in person. Not really sure. He kept saying “Oh come on, baby. Please don’t do this. Come on now. Please don’t leave.” and a few other things like that, indicating departure. Anyway, I’m pretty sure divorce is in the future for them. Or a break up. I’m not sure, because I don’t know much about my neighbours, other than they’re really nosy and creepy. So maybe it was just a girlfriend.
Then we ran/jogged back inside, because we stared to hear commotion.
Maybe I should start being nosy, and creepy to my neighbours since they are to me. Oh, but I would love to be creepy towards my neighbour at the corner, well his son anyway. I see his son come back from college every few months. I remember when he would always sit at the corner of the sidewalk, and stare at me every time I was outside. He still does, when he visits his Father. I’m almost tempted to just walk over and say hi sometime. Although, I probably should have done that about a year ago…When he wasn’t in college, or maybe it was two years ago. Not sure. I’ll have to rack my brain for that one.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s it for now. I’m hungry, really hungry. And a little tired. Even though it’s only 11:56PM now. Wow, it took me a while to type…
Overall, this was a pretty great Fourth of July. In my opinion. :-)
One more thing …sorry for anyone reading if I went overboard on the details, I just felt like telling everything I can remember from tonight.
So turns out my Aunt (Mother’s side) and her family will be at their lake house this fourth of July. Fishing …catfish. Really? I’d rather drink alcohol and shoot fireworks. Which I plan on doing, hopefully.
My Mother is going to ask her friend if she and her family want to go to this firework thing with us. We will still be able to use fireworks though.
My camera is being a dick. I’ve been trying to get it set up so I can take photos of the fireworks. Oh and for certain settings it shows on the manual, I can’t findanywhereon the camera. Someone fucked up on the manual…
My video camera is not working well. I’ve been trying to set it up so the colour will be correct. So if I want to shoot some videos for memories.
Honestly, I don’t think I’m very good at photography, but I really love it. So that might be the reason why I can’t set up the settings properly on my camera for the fireworks….
But anyway, I hope they decide to spend their July 4th with us.
So July 4th is coming soon,reallysoon.
Basically, I persuaded my parents to allow me to get fireworks for July 4th. We can’t shoot them in the city limits, because of a drought, so we’ll go out into the country.
I haven’t used fireworks since July 4th, 2007. With Nick, my current boyfriend at that time; Andrew, his younger brother; their father, whose name I forgot; and my brother, Sam.
The plan is to just take a road trip there, shoot fireworks, drink beer (Or other alcoholic drinks), and eat.
I bet everyone will have a more exciting 4th of July than I will, but still, it would make me happy to shoot some fireworks.
Oh, and of course I would take photos, and video. I wouldn’t post the videos, of course, because they would most likely have my face in them. But if I take a decent photograph of some fireworks, then I might upload some here.
So, here’s to hoping this all happens.
Otherwise, I will sit home alone, again, and probably listen to music while staring outside my window.
Although, maybe I can get a job by the end of this year…
Also, I hope I can get my driver’s license before I turn seventeen. It’s this little stupid thing …I want to get my driver’s license before I’m seventeen, because my (“Perfect, golden girl.”) cousin, Sarah, got hers at seventeen, or a little before her eighteenth birthday. I just want to get it faster than she got hers, so I can say I got it the year I was sixteen…? It’s pretty stupid, yes. Oh, and also, I want to get mine before my (Annoying, cruel, and bitchy.) cousin, Michaela, gets hers because she’s intent on getting it before she turns seventeen. (Which is near.) So then I can have something stupid to “brag” about…
Another thing! It’s so hot in the Summer, where I currently reside.
So …I guess that’s it for now.
Until next post.